I hate dieting. I suck at it. I only have self control when I have to adhere to strict guidelines for religious purposes (like when my grandpa and grandma passed away). Otherwise, the only guidelines I understand are not eating till I want to throw up.

But, seeing as how this is the only time in my life where I’m going to be wearing a gorgeous wedding dress AND a gorgeous, custom made qipao, I should give some more thought to it.

* sigh *
I remember when my stomach looked like this…when I was 21-24.

The good news is I haven’t gained any weight since the last time I tried my dress on.

The better news is that I’ve lost 10 pounds since February and that my dress zips up a lot more.

The bad news is….well….there isn’t really any because this is pretty good news. However, I’m vain and I want to look friggin’ GOOD!

So here’s what I’m thinking.

• I don’t want to do any crazy yo-yo dieting

• I don’t want to restrict myself too much because then I’ll fall off the wagon and eat fried chicken and buffalo wings until I make myself sick
• I don’t want to know how to count calories because I suck. I also don’t know how to assign calories to food that isn’t labeled
• I want to avoid labeled food as much as possible. This will make counting calories hard.

In addition to this, I want to exercise so that I don’t have flabby arms and a squishy stomach. I’ve been cleared to do yoga (YAAY!!) and some Pilates (YAAAY!!!) so best believe I will be taking advantage of all that I can do.

I took Nutrition when I was in nursing school and I know that nutrition is 90% of maintaining, gaining or losing weight. That means I need to find a weight plan that will work for me.

Clyde and I don’t have the money for me to get those awesome delivered meals. That’s cool because I’m pretty sure I can figure out what to do.

This is my plan.

October

I’m going to try this. “This” is Tim Ferriss’s “4 Hour Body”.

I don’t think it’s an actual diet and is more like guidelines.

I can do that. …in my imagination, that is.

Here’s what I understand of it (I copied and pasted all this from his blog) :

Rule #1: Avoid “white” carbohydrates

I recommend Saturdays as your “Dieters Gone Wild” day. I am allowed to eat whatever I want on Saturdays, and I go out of my way to eat ice cream, Snickers, Take 5, and all of my other vices in excess. I make myself a little sick and don’t want to look at any of it for the rest of the week. Paradoxically, dramatically spiking caloric intake in this way once per week increases fat loss by ensuring that your metabolic rate (thyroid function, etc.) doesn’t downregulate from extended caloric restriction. That’s right: eating pure crap can help you lose fat. Welcome to Utopia.

My cousin, her husband and my sister are doing this now and they are shedding the weight. They’ve been eating like this for the last 3 weeks or so. Not bad.

This doesn’t sound too bad at all. I don’t really like rice, I’m not a huge noodle person, I don’t inhale bushels of spuds….but give up bread???!!! * sigh *

I like the part where I get to eat whatever the hell I want one day of the week. IT IS SOOO ON!

November

If I don’t shed as much fat/weight as I had thought from doing this for 4 weeks, I’m going to do the South Beach Diet again. I did it once almost 7 years ago and it worked great for me. It’s less restrictive than this 4 Hour Body thing because you can have some dairy in the South Beach Diet but, from what I understand, not on the 4 Hour Body.

That sucks. I can’t have milk?! Wtf?! How am I going to drink coffee??? Sadness.

Hm. Maybe I’ll mix the two diets together!!! Yeah, that sounds good. I’m going to follow most of the 4 Hour Body but incorporate dairy into it. We’ll see how this works out.

I’m going to try and write down everything I eat also.

Wish me luck! Maybe I’ll even be brave enough to post before-and-after measurements. Maybe.

Who Da Funk :: Shiny Disco Balls

This has always been the song I think of whenever I’m about to go to Vegas. I don’t know why. Wait, maybe it has something to do with the lyrics. Let’s take a look.

Drugs

No, thanks…unless, if by “drugs”, you mean the aspirin I’ll be popping while desperately trying to stave off a hangover, then YES PLEASE!! Otherwise, no thanks.

I don’t understand why people do drugs. I really don’t. If they know what that shit does to them when they REALLY need pain meds, then I’m pretty sure most of them would *hopefully* think twice about snorting/smoking/shooting up.

I don’t need random mixtures of household cleaners to make me feel ecstasy. I also don’t relish the idea of frothing at the mouth like a rabid bitch. No, thank you.

I like my nose the way it is so I don’t want to mess it up with cocaine.

I like the way my skin looks (free of track marks) and would like it to stay that way.

Hm….so, in other words, I’m too vain to do drugs. HAA HAA HAA!!!!

Rock and Roll

CHECK!!!! Going to see a bunch of men strip down to their skivvies is just as much of a tradition as boys going to ogle a bunch of boobies. The only difference? The women go crazier. No joke.

Bad Ass Vegas Hoes

I don’t know about the “hoes” part but where the hell else am I supposed to wear my killer CFM stilettos and leopard print dress with the lace inserts??

Just sayin’. Besides, in case you haven’t seen the music videos on YouTube (I’d say MTV but Music TeleVision no longer plays videos, just a lot of really stupid “reality” shows), everyone dresses like a hoe now. What I’ll be wearing will be considered tame in all 50 states.

Late Night Booty Calls

Yeah….there will be none of this going on unless your name is Room Service and you’ve come to bring me and my girlfriends the greasy pizza our drunk asses will be demanding at 4 in the morning. By “greasy pizza”, I mean just that. It’s not a code word for some naughty munkey bizness, people.

Shiny Disco Balls

I opted not to do the whole clubbing thing for the following reasons :

• I do not want to make my beloved girls pay $$$ for f***ing bottle service in a crowded club

• I do not feel like doing my best impersonation of a sardine while trying to dance
• I do not feel like shoving people away from me because they violated my personal space
• I do not feel like being like a stripper pole being molested by a bunch of drunk boys
• I do not feel like dancing with people I don’t know
• I do not feel like turning into BONNIE SMASH at the club

Therefore, I have opted for a chill lounge/bar in a top secret location where it will be SIGNIFICANTLY cheaper for bottle service and where I am being given a bottle of bubbly because I am the bachelorette.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT!! I love champagne. I love free champagne.

Know what else will be shiny? The bones catching the glint from the cage lights as I toss them. Say it with me now. HARD SIX!! HARD EIGHT!! GIVE IT TO ME THE HARD WAY!!!! BONNIE NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES FOR HER WEDDING, BITCHES!!!!!

Indeed indeed….
Now to make sure it stays this way.

I gotta make a rule for the girls. No pictures. The goal is to being able to remember all most of the weekend, not throw up in planters, not throw up on people, not throw up.

I also don’t want this weekend to be like Katy Perry’s song “Last Friday Night”.

Time to pack!

Vegas, here I come.

10 years ago, I watched the Twin Towers fall on my tv. I was huddled in my bed with all the blankets drawn up around me. It didn’t matter that the day grew to be warm because I felt chilled in my core.

I walked past Ground Zero a few years later when I visited New York City. I read every single name and cried as I stood there. I cry every time I see the footage from that day and whenever I hear the words “Nine Eleven….Never Forget”.

I don’t personally know of anyone who passed away that day, civilian or hero. I don’t have any members of the NYPD, NYFD or any firefighter or police officer in my family.

What I am, however, is a proud Registered Nurse. My sister is also a Registered Nurse. My little brother is a certified EMT and a proud US Navy sailor.

I’m also a proud American.

And the home of the brave.

Imagine my outrage when I read this after staring in disbelief on a status update by a friend on Facebook.

Did I read this right? First responders are not being invited to the ceremony at Ground Zero?

What the fuck??!!

I don’t care if you have a separate ceremony for them elsewhere and at another time. By not having those who survived their fallen brothers and sister stand in their memory and honor is the HUGEST FUCKING SLAP IN THEIR FACES that I can ever imagine.

The families of the victims should definitely be there. President Obama, former President George W. Bush and former Mayor Rudy Guiliani should also be there. And so should the first responders, NYPD and NYFD!

I understand this is probably a logistical nightmare for whomever is planning this event. I’m planning a wedding and that is turning out to be quite the headache so I do NOT envy that person their job.

But make room for those who paid the ultimate price in trying to save the victims.

Make room for those who stand today and wear the same uniforms as those who have fallen.

Make room for those who are here today but who have not forgotten those who gave their life in serving their city and saving lives.

Honor them too by including them in the same ceremony as they stand for those who cannot stand there today as we say as a nation that we will never forget.

Don’t just push them off to the side when they’re not needed and give them a separate ceremony. Include both in the same day if you have to but figure out a way to make it work so that all may be honored and remembered at Ground Zero on September 11th.

I know!!! Maybe have all the surviving firefighters, NYPD and first responders all walk past Ground Zero while carrying a photo of a fallen hero. I think that’s only right and only fair.

Someone get me through to whomever is organizing this thing. I’ll tell them what to do. ~_^

Hi everyone!

Thanks for all the submissions to my first ever beauty product giveaway. Last month’s featured giveaway was a travel kit from gloTherapeutics gloSpa line.

How cute is this?!

And the winner is….Lydia K.! Yay! Congrats! I hope you enjoy your prize! Let me know how you like it.

Stay tuned for next month’s giveaway!

This past weekend, I went to Chicago with my sister and my baby brother’s girlfriend. Actually, we weren’t technically in Chicago but somewhere called Waukegan, IL. I’ve been saving and saving for this trip and would not miss it for the world because my little man graduated from Navy boot camp!!

That’s quite an accomplishment. Not everyone completes basic training and I know he worked really hard. In fact, his division won the most awards and was the only division to earn the highest honors!

I knew I would be really proud of him and I also know I’d probably cry….so I didn’t bother putting on any makeup besides eyeliner. I’m so glad I didn’t put on a full face of makeup because I pretty much cried the entire time.

I’m a little afraid of how the pictures are going to look.

A cartoon rendition of my brother and I.
I had stopped crying at this point.

So what made me cry? A lot of things, actually. You see, I raised my brother from when I was 17-almost 21. He was age 7 when I got him and 11 when I left Hawaii for Los Angeles. During the hour+ long ceremony, I remembered :

• all the good times I had with him

• all the times I chased him around the house trying to make him do his homework
• calling the cab at night to take us home because I was worried about being on the bus with him so late at night (it was 8 p.m. Yes, I’m paranoid)
• waking up in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream
• making up stories to tell him so that he’d go back to sleep (where was Samuel L. Jackson’s “Go The F*ck To Sleep” when I needed it?! Just kidding.)

I remembered all the promises I made to him and I’ve kept them all. I remember starving for 2 weeks and living off the hot dogs and spam musubis from the pool hall I used to work at so that I could save enough money to buy him the Nintendo Color Game Boy with a Pokemon game.

I remembered crying and prying his little arms off of me when I had to go back to Los Angeles. He wouldn’t let go and I tried to make him understand that I was going to LA so that I could make a better life for myself and for him. I promised him then that no matter where I was in the world, I would always come for him whenever he needed me to.

And I’ve kept that promise.

This was the song I used to play him almost every night.
I told him it would bring him sweet dreams.
I also told him it would chase away all the monsters.
I think it’s now one of his favorite songs.

As I watched him march into the stadium last Friday, I was thinking of the little boy who used to clomp around the living room in my combat boots and my BDU (battle dress uniform). I was in Army JROTC in high school and he showed remarkable interest in the military even at that young age. I think he was….3 or 4. He would sit in the floor of my bedroom and listen to me regale him with the stories of Spring Camp (it was a watered down version of a week of boot camp at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii).

He would also want to eat one of the MREs (Meals Ready to Eat. My favorite was spagetti and meatballs. The chicken ala king was NASTY. So was the turkey ala king. Ugh. Yuck….but it tasted pretty damn good when I was starving. Haa haa haa!). Needless to say, he didn’t like the way it tasted back then. Haa haa haa!

When graduation was over and we made our way over to him, I couldn’t stop crying because I was so proud of him and also because I knew that little boy grew up. He wouldn’t be needing my combat boots or my BDUs anymore because now he has his own. The little boy I knew was no longer standing before me because he was now a little man.

I now have a small taste of what every mom feels like when she watches her children grow up. It is a bittersweet feeling. I now know why my mom tells me it doesn’t matter how old I am because I will always be a little girl in her eyes.

I understand now.

To all the Navy recruits who are now full fledged Navy sailors, congratulations to you and yours from this proud Navy sister. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do for us and for our country.

To all the military men and women who serve our country, this proud Navy sister thanks you with all her heart.