I found this on my windshield:

I didn’t even notice it until I was almost out of the parking lot.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, it’s just a grasshopper. But that’s where you’re wrong.

See, the picture doesn’t do it justice because let me tell you, the sucker was HUGE.  Like 6 inches in length (I know because I keep a ruler in the car and measured it), and it was kind of just angrily staring me down. This photo practically represents ACTUAL SIZE, really as if my camera phone had a zoom function.  (Well, ok it does, but it’s not like I USED IT.)

Of course, I’m thinking I’ve got to get rid of the thing asap and like an idiot I turn on my windshield wipers and ….rocket launch the killer hellhopper towards my open driver side window. I think it was pretty pissed.

Long story short, thank goodness I emerged from the battle victorious without any collateral damage.  I HATE BUGS.