I recently downgraded from a Blackberry to one of these 2004 vintage piece of craps:

This phone totally sucks by the way. It turns off whenever it feels like it, erases my voicemails and text, and (this is by far the worse) fails to hang up the call after I close it. It’s trying to sabotage my social life like a jealous Korean boyfriend.

So anyway, in order to save a few bucks ($40) a month on my phone, I decided that I no longer needed immediate access to all the modern perks of advanced communication technology. It all made perfect sense at the time. A Blackberry provides a slew of services I no longer need:

• Instant access to emails – Previously, this was an integral function for working with people overseas. I could coordinate production, answer questions, arrange logistics all during commercial breaks of Bones and Gossip Girl. Call me anything if efficient. But seeing how I’m jobless and the only emails I get these days are Viagra spam and online shopping coupons, this hardly remains a valued tool.

• Full Keyboard – According to an Astra Zeneca commercial, I’ve self diagnosed myself with Bipolar Clinical Depression. Not only did I answer “Yes” to all the conditions, but especially since I fail to “reach out to my friends”, I realized how overrated a full keyboard really is when you’re anti-social. I can definitely live without it.

• GPS – I’ve basically lost the will the live, so it goes without saying that partying and going out haven’t been top priorities.

While $40 doesn’t sound like much, it can buy one of these (which I did with my newfound riches):

THIS is a dress from the highly anticipated Rodarte Line from this cycle of Target’s Go Collection.

Unfortunately, I also ended up buying one of everything. I couldn’t resist, there were all these tiny fashionista vultures greedily snapping them up the first day released on the 20th, and my competitive edge just kicked in. Spending a little over $700, I’ve defeated the purpose of having to punch “4” three times to get a freaking “I” for stupid text messages. Now my texts just look like this: 424 170111 124.

May 2010 bring me an iPhone.  Be safe ringing in the new year!