Since Summer is now here, many of us will be travelling. Although I’m only planning on going to CABO this Summer, I have been to quite a few places in the past. I’ll be posting my travel journals online about once a week so you can get a first hand view of what to expect should you be travelling to a certain city. Our second installment features Shanghai, China:::

So Korea was a blast.  Off to Shangheezy.  I had never been to China before (except HK) so i was really excited for this part of the trip.  I heard a lot of good things about Shanghai….the current “it” city of the world…building at an incredible pace….skyscrapers abound…hot tall women…etc etc.  So we get there and take a taxi into the city.  First thing that comes to mind….this place is f*cking DIRTY!  So dirty in fact that I didnt’ even see the sun for the majority of my stay there cuz the SOOT in the air blotted out any clear skies. 

All the buildings that i saw also had this black grime on it.  Friggin disgusted me especially since i realized that we were all breathing this dirty air.  Ok so besides the dirty air, the other thing that struck me was the sheer number of skyscrapers and tall buildings in the city.  Amazing! 
Our hotel was a furnished apartment.  Pretty pimp.  After our spartan accomodations in Korea, the nice amenities of our Shanghai residence was a relief.  First thing me and Van do is set off wandering around our hotel.  The city is pretty chaotic and everybody looked at us like pieces of meat.  Kind of like walking into a jungle where all the animals are eyeing you for a meal.  Very unsettling. 
First full day we took a tour of the “old city”.  Went to eat at a dumpling place and saw Michelle Rodgriguez.  Crazy!  Anyway drank crab innards out of this dumpling.  This was mistake #1.  More on that later.

After lunch, we tour the “old city” more and what do we find?? A STARBUCKS.  What a total sellout.  Kinda disgusted me actually.  I mean seriously…how tacky can you get?

Also had some little chicklets for a snack.  No not the chiclets gum that those poor mexican kids sell you….i’m talking about actual baby chickens roasted on a stick.  Mmmmmmmmmmmm!

Ok i didn’t eat them.  I aint no barbarian!  Shietttt!  Did a little turtle riding.

So then after we are chilling on the steps and we are confronted by one of the MANY people selling fake shit.  I mean it came to the point where there were about 10 of them following us down the road.  I felt like a moviestar……probably the pinnacle of my life thus far.  I’m famous!  Wheeeeeee!  LV Bag??  Fake Rolex watch?  No thank you ma’am..i already have my fake on my wrist.  hahahaha.

Stomach Issues
So like i said, i told you i would pay for drinking those crab innards.  Hit me the next morning.  Let’s just say i became intimately familiar with a LOT of toilets in Shanghai.  I experienced some of the NASTIEST bathrooms i’ve ever seen.  Squatters friggin SUCK and some bathrooms charge you to use the toilet…..is nothing sacred anymore!?!?  Geezus.  Then they give you like 2 sheets of “toilet paper” that look like those brown paper towels that we used to have in elementary school..except ROUGHER.  Then they tell you not to put the “toilet paper” in the toilet but to put it in the wastebasket next to the toilet.  So you’re sitting in the stall with this trashcan full of poopy “toilet paper”.  I think i wanted to throw up right there.  Probably caught some disease just sitting there in those janky toilets.  Let’s just say the stomach problems totally took the life out of me for Shanghai.  Didn’t feel like sightseeing…didn’t feel like meeting chicks….just felt like being near a CLEAN toilet.  I felt like THIS most of the time:

Notice how Van is completely happy while i am hating life.  hahahaha.  Dirty ass China!

Clubbing
Even with my stomach problems, i still sucked it up and went out every night.  It was either clubbing or ….. other activities that we did (that i cannot elaborate on)…hahahaha.  But anyway….clubbing!  Shanghai has a very vibrant clubbing/bar scene. 

Barbarossa – Expat club in the middle of a lake.  Plusses are:  belly dancers, cool vibe, 4 floors, comfortable seating.  Negs:  Mosquitoes will bite you (cuz you’re in the middle of a lake), Drinks expensive.  Here’s us at Barbarossa. 

Notice how Shien is flashing the X sign.  This is the sign Shanghainese girls give you when they are dissing you.  Needless to say Shien saw a lot of that on the trip.  Tee hee!

Volar – More of a “ABC” joint.  Smaller club but really nicely decorated.  2 Levels.  Amanda introduced us to the manager and owner so we got some small hookups and partied with them.  Both were cool gals.  =)  Fav quote…”don’t hate cuz we’re rich”….uhhh…ok…hahahaha.

Bon Bon –   “Locals” club.  Jin was performing the night we went.  Ended up getting a bottle of Chivas and Green Tea (my new favorite drink) for $50 bucks.  What a deal!  Ended up playing that stupid HAND game with Amanda, Jamie, and Angeline.

Bund – The Bund had a lot of cool bars:  Attica, Glamour Bar, Rouge, etc.  I would say the best one would be Rouge cuz of the awesome view and nice decor.  Here’s we are at Attica with Debbie Deb (aka shiny happy people…aka mini tammy wan)  hahahaha.

People
Ahhh.the people of Shanghai.  Many were downright rude.  It seemed like a lot of the workers were bored and knew nothing of customer service.   Never smiled, never looked thankful….even my vaunted Saka charm could not melt the ice.  Example:

Can she look any more MEAN?  I mean I understand that she must be annoyed that 3 monkeys want to take a picture with her but at least be happy that we were 3 GOOD LOOKIN monkeys.  hahahaha.  At least crack a lil smile? 
Also….saw a lot of peeps chillin with their shirts off.  It would be ok if they were hot chicks but not sweaty fat guys.  See how i snuck in this picture with this Buddha looking dude:

By the way I LOVE his capris.  So hot!

And my favorite local? The knockoff Donald Duck.  Yay!

Shopping
Shopping in Shanghai was FUN FUN FUN!  Had some suits made for $50 each.  Score!  Also had some dress shirts custom made for $10 each…double score!  Jerome also took us to the subway stores.   Just a bunch of stores selling all kinds of shiet…clothes, jewelry, shoes, knick knacks, paintings. 

My fav was bargaining with the owners.  Here’s how it usually went down.
Me:  How much?
Owner:  400 RMB!
Me:  Nahh…too much….i’ll give you 100 RMB.
Owner:  (Gasping)…You crazy?  Ok…best price….250 RMB…Just for you!..C’mon you buy!
Me:  Ehhh…nahh..that’s too expensive..it’s ok i’ll just look around more for a better deal. 
Owner:  Ok how much you want to pay? Tell me your best price!
Me:  I already told you….100 RMB.  I start to walk away.
Owner:  You’ll NEVER get that price! Trust me!  Ok ok…i’ll give you 200 RMB…final offer!  Trust me you’ll never get it for 100 RMB!
Me:  Nah it’s cool…continuing to walk down the hall.
Owner: (Yelling after me) Ok ok….175 RMB!
Me:  (Ignore and continue walking)
Owner:  (Yelling even louder)  Ok ok…150 RMB…Final Offer!!!
Me:  (Ignore and continue walking..but walking a little slower)  By this time i am waaaaay down the hall.
Owner:  (Screaming) OK OK!!  Come back!  100 RMB!
Me:  (Screaming back)  OK!  (Walk back to the store)
Owner:  You know you killing me!  I make nothing off this sale!  I have to eat too!  You a good negotiator!!
Me:  Yah but i came back cuz i like you…you’re cute.  (Flash toothy grin)
Owner:  Ok ok…just take it and go!  You make me lose money!
Ok so i’m sure whatever price they agree to that they give you a huge guilt trip on how they are getting ripped off.  I just found it quite hilarious.  Especially cuz it happened like 3 different times with that EXACT scenario and script. 

Anyway that was Shanghai.  I was sad to leave and had a pretty good time there (minus my f*cked up stomach). 

Next stop….PHUKET, Thailand!

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