This is so my theme song right now. I’ll tell you why. What started off as an innocent dinner get together with friends I haven’t seen in a long ass time somehow turned into a crazy monster session of karaoke complete with bottomless bottles of soju (or what I like to call the Korean Liquor Of Death) and random Lady Ga Ga songs.

What the f**k. Why are all soju ads so misleading? Dude, I do NOT look anything remotely resembling her cool, collected self when I’m done drinking soju for the night. Then again, I don’t think they’d sell anything if their ads featured their spokespeople sprawled out and passed out 5 different ways from Sunday. Yup…..better to keep them looking fresh and pretty.

I also don’t feel the need to pose as innocently as possible nor do I have a desire to assume yoga poses. Instead, I feel the uncontrollable urge to release my inner rock star upon my poor unsuspecting friends.

I’m not sure what happened. I remember distinctly thinking I was tired and had to drag myself out of my house. Somehow, in the course of an hour (and 3 vodkas laced with Red Bull), I got the brilliant idea of going to karaoke.

After that, it was pretty much game over. I feel like I pickled Barney the Tapeworm along with my liver. My head feels like there’s a horde of mini dwarves raving and moshing within my skull.

I’ve come to the conclusion that soju is the Devil. Soju and I have a long history. Our relationship is Love-Hate. I get my ass kicked almost every time I drink it (Heaven help me if it’s flavored soju because then I just think it’s juice) and yet I keep going back for more.

Tell me this doesn’t remind you of an abusive relationship. Jeezus.

After nearly two years and $5million of renovations and retrofitting, Exchange LA now pays homage to its rich and opulent past.  Spanning 25,000 square feet and four floors, Exchange LA is the new destination for nightlife, private parties, corporate events, and live entertainment.  On the second floor is the cavernous Trading Room—aka the dance floor—under a hand-painted ceiling 40 feet up. The balcony, dubbed the Federal Reserve, has a personal host at each reserved table. And all the way up, accessed by a secret elevator, is the Board Room—a crimson-colored private viewing box for your most delicate after-dark dealings.  Coupled with a top of the line Funktion One III Sound System, this definitely is the most glamorous nightclub in Downtown LA!

GO Productions is proud to present the biggest party of the Summer 2010 at EXCHANGE LA this Saturday August 28, 2010.  1,300+ partiers expected at this mega event.  Come join us!  Email Justin@GOProductionsLA.com for guestlist or table service.

Well I won’t lie, I had been looking forward to trying out the Shrimp Guys food truck for awhile now.   One of my favorite activities when I visit Oahu is to go eat at the shrimp trucks there.  My two favorites are the Blue Water Shrimp truck in Waikiki and Giovanni’s Aloha Shrimp truck on the North Shore.  Just the thought of those 2 trucks make my mouth water.  Anyway, I digress.

After some quick research, I learned that the two owners (Rich Narne and Rico Libang) started the Shrimp Truck after a visit to the aforementioned Giovanni’s in Hawaii.  Although neither owner hails from the 808 area code, their objective is to evoke memories of Hawai’i for its customers.  Sounds cool enough to me!  I started following the Shrimp Guys on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/theshrimpguys) and saw one night that they were gonna be in my neighborhood on Sawtelle and Olympic.  Needless to say, I rushed there with a quickness.

First off, there were about 5 trucks on Sawtelle that night which I thought was pretty cool.  They added to the already great selection of restaurants that Sawtelle has to offer.  I made it there around 9pm (closing time) so the line was not that long.  I went ahead and ordered the full plate of spicy garlic shrimp.  My first gripe is the price.  $9 for a plate of shrimp is pretty steep for a food truck.  Granted this is how much they charge in Hawaii, but then again, those are tourist areas where they usually jack up the price anyway.  I think $6 is more of a fair price but keep in mind, I have no idea what their finances are so $9 might be what they HAVE to charge to make ends meet.  It took them about 10 minutes to make the plate and off I went back to my lair to devour my food.

So here it is in all of it’s glory.  My first thought was, “man this plate is pretty LIGHT”.  For $9, I better be getting a crapload of shrimp.  Alas, I think you get about 8 shrimp total and 2 scoops of white rice.  I finished the thing off in about 10 minutes.  I have to admit, it WAS GOOD.  Maybe not as good as Blue Water Shrimp but it definitely satisfied the taste buds.  The only thing was, I was STILL hungry!  I think 2 plates would have sufficed to slay my hunger but the thought of spending $18 for a food truck meal does not appeal to me….AT ALL.  All gripes aside, I will be back next time the Shrimp Guys are in town.  I’ll just make sure to cook a side dish on my own to complete the dinner.  Enjoy!

Shrimp Guys Website:  http://www.theshrimpguys.com

Shrimp Guys Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/theshrimpguys

And THEN, I saw THIS and i laughed even harder.  It was the Antoine autotune “bed intruder song” from famed Youtube musicians “The Gregory Brothers”:

Here’s to you Antoine Dodson.  We are now left with this quote that will last the test of time:  “He’s climbing in yo windows, he’s snatchin yo people up, tryna rape em so y’all need to hide ya kids, hide ya wife, and hide ya husband cuz they rapin’ errybody out hea”

So it is apparently tradition that I get pretty drunk every Saturday I’m there. Nice.

There

Pressing questions on my mind :

To Do Be Or Not To Be?

Do I dress up or not? I didn’t put much thought into costumes this year because last year was just mind boggling. I guess if I really want to, I can do the whole summer kimono thing again. I have no problems going to the after parties dressed up like a summer geisha minus the epic geisha makeup.

The problem with that outfit is trying to pee. Holy mother of all that is awesome, that is just freaking hard.

WHere….What…Who?

I’m looking over prospective people / shows / directors / talent to interview. Good God, planning out these next couple of days are going to be crazy. Things I want to do for sure are the following :

1. Go to the “Green Hornet” and “Priest” panels. Why? Oppa’s company did the 3D stuff. Gotta support, you know what I mean?

Two words. Olivia. Munn.
Two more. Freaking. Hot.

2. Attempt to get a picture of Olivia Munn. One of my good friends is a rabid fan who ALSO HAPPENS TO BE IN THE MILITARY. He’s a hero who is keeping my ass safe. Therefore, the least I can do is be all ninja papparazzi and score him a picture of Her Epic Awesomeness for him. Key word here is “try”. * sigh * Last year was super hard. I’m hoping this year will be better.

That’s the end of my list so far. Last year’s points of fantasticness was seeing my friend Alan Vega and getting drunk, meeting Ray Park (aka he of Darth Maul-ness) and getting druuunk.

Hm. I’m seeing a pattern here. Nice.

I suppose I could dress up as Lara Croft…but that means I need shoes.
Oooh!! Excuse to go buy shoes. Nice. I love it.

Anyway, so do I dress up or not? God, this is so hard….I think next year, I’m just gonna go as Lara Croft. God knows I can pull that off since 90% of my closet is black. I just need the shoes. Hm….maybe I should just go shoe shopping tomorrow for combat boots and then just call it a day. That would work. Sweet.

1. Pull out my hair
2. Curl in a fetal position and cry
3. Both at the same time

However, it would be highly unprofessional of me if I did that. Therefore, I went to a happy place in my head during the 15 minutes I managed to find for lunch. My fantasy was a spa day….but what the hell kind of spa is open this late and cheap? I guess I could go to the Korean spas but I don’t feel like being stared at by a bunch of naked Korean ladies who are old enough to be my mom.

Therefore, I decided I was going to have a night of pampering at home. This will be awesome because I can run around in my pajamas, play the kind of music *I* want to hear, get the treatments *I* want to have with premium products AND it’s much easier on the wallet.

Yup, this was me at home….sort of.

Scrub A Dub Dub, Bonnie’s In The Tub

I gave myself a hair treatment with Eufora’s Urgent Repair treatment. I got it in a giant gift package when Audrey Magazine published something I wrote last year. It’s awesome.

I then scrubbed the bejeezus out of my skin with this chocolate sugar scrub thing. I now smell like a giant chocolate cake. It’s really hard for me not to lick my arm right now.

Mask Time!

As you know, I got a Vi Peel last month. My skin is awesome and I want to keep it that way. But how? I’m not down to subject myself to that again.

Therefore, I decided to make a mask for myself. I’ve been hearing all these things about aspirin masks so I decided to make my own.

I used :

One crushed tablet of Aspirin 81 mg
Two teaspoons full fat plain unsweetened yogurt
One teaspoon green tea powder macha tea
One teaspoon honey

Mix together.
Apply to clean, dry face.
Leave on for 15 minutes.
Wash off with warm water.
* added bonus? The crushed aspirin bits exfoliate at the same time. *
Apply moisterizer.

Aspirin 81 mg

Aspirin is an acid. Don’t get carried away with this. This means I started off using 81 mg. This is a time when more is not better. Acid burns. Remember that. I’m using this amount for now so that I can see how my skin reacts to it. Aspirin will also dry out your face so again, don’t go crazy with putting too much of this in your mask.

I tested a small patch of skin and since I didn’t have adverse reactions, I applied this to my face. Make sure you do the same. If you have aspirin allergies, do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT use this.

Also, do not use the enteric coated or safety coated tablets.

I don’t own a mortar and pestle at home but since I’m ghetto at work and know how to Frankenstein just about anything together, I can crush tablets using folded paper towels and a giant glass bottle of sesame oil. Unless you’ve got mad skills like me via over 5 years of training as a nurse smashing the sh*t out of meds, I suggest you get a mortar and pestle and USE IT ONLY FOR THIS PURPOSE!! Do not crush other meds with it. You don’t want to be smearing blood pressure meds on your face, do you? Mmm hmm. I didn’t think so.

Powdered Green Tea

You can find this in Asian markets. I love powdered green tea.

Green tea has anti-inflammatory properties and it soothes the skin. As a weak tea, it’s also good as a toner.

Honey

Honey is a natural humectant (<- that's a fancy word for moisterizer). Strangely, this did not feel sticky and gross. All it did was make the mask smell really yummy.

Plain Yogurt

This contains lactic acid which is great for smoothing out skin. It also feels really nice when I smeared the mask all over my face.

—

My skin feels super smooth and soft. I think I’m going to use this mask 2x a week. Score!

I am now going to Latisse my eyelashes, paint my nails, have some Scotch and chocolate. Hell yes, this is how I unwind. So awesome.

So in a previous post, I talked about how I registered and completed a 10k for the first time in my life.

Lance asked a few questions which I will address now.

1. Running Machine

I should point out first and foremost that I don’t run consecutive miles. Hell to the N-O! Are you kidding me?! I’d die!!

So here’s what I do.

There’s an awesome dude by the name of Jeff Galloway who also just so happens to be an Olympian. He has a bunch of books out that detail how to train for half and full marathons. Clyde bought me his half marathon book. I love it.

I worship this guy because he advocates a walk-run program. For example, when I first started “running”, I ran 30 seconds, walked 30 seconds, ran 30 seconds, walked 30 seconds, etc.

Gradually over time, I worked my way up to 1 minute run, 1 minute walk. From there, I increased my intervals to 2/1. I’m currently at 6/3.

You have to understand where I came from. I haven’t ran since senior year in high school and that was over 10 years ago! To come this far is a miracle to me and if I can do it, I know anyone can.

This was how I was able to hit 6 miles in 3 weeks. The first time I went running, I did about 4 miles in an hour. I averaged about 15.30 minute miles following the 30 second run / 30 second walk intervals. To be completely honest, I was surprised when the hour was over and I didn’t want to stop. Crazy, huh?

According to my 10k time, I’m clocking a 13.30 minute mile.

2. Take It Easy

Yeah, they call it a “race” sometimes but honestly? You’re not in a race with anyone else besides yourself. When I train solo, I’m aiming for a time I’d like to finish by. I can currently run 2.45 miles in 35 minutes of which 5 minutes is initally spent walking at a semi brisk pace for a warm up.

I was supposed to do a 8 mile run this week but I think I pulled something during my last short run a few days ago. Therefore, I’m resting my legs for the rest of the week. I’m wearing compression sleeves that Clyde bought me (F*CKING MOST AWESOME THINGS E-V-A-R!!!) and not doing anything besides walking for errands and work.

Diet Is The Key

I see you mentioned that you wanted to start running again to get into shape, Lance. First of all, as a Registered Nurse, let me say that I am so proud of you!! Diet and exercise go really far in preventing the Unholy Trinity – Diabetes, Hypertension and high Cholesterol.

Before you start on some crazy exercise thing, please do me a favor and talk it over with your primary doctor. I highly doubt he’s gonna tell you not to do anything but I say this in case you have some health issues I’m clueless about.

I took nutrition as part of my nursing school prereqs and I remember learning that diet is the greatest contributing factor to weight loss whereas exercise doesn’t really factor in. Don’t get me wrong!!! You need exercise to develop muscle mass and improve cardiovascular health. Diet is what will help you melt all the layers of fat to reveal the awesome muscle tone you’re developing with the running/working out and those muscles are what will help you burn more calories even when you’re at a rest state. In other words, you need both to get in shape.

When I was “rewarding” myself after long runs with pizza and Shin Ramen late at night (omg….sodium laden bloaty HEAVEN….), I wasn’t doing my waistline any favors. Now that I’ve cut it mostly out of my diet, I can see better definition in my muscles and my abdominal region is flatter. So score!

You’ll also want to make sure you have recovery foods readily available after working out. Chocolate milk is really good. It has the optimal ration of fats/protein/carbs to help you recover. I’m currently drinking this choco whey protein shake with skim milk after running.

3. Don’t Forget About Your Core!

Having a strong core doesn’t just let you look super sexy in the summer with your shirt off. It also helps with running better and safer.

I like personally take Pilates to help me kick my core into shape. I think it’s because I like the pain and my instructor’s cheery Japanese voice kicking my ass into gear.

Hope this helps, Lance! Oh yeah. If you smoke, that won’t help with the lungs wanting to die when running. I know because I’m a smoker. * hangs head in shame * I’m down to….maybe 6 a week? That averages out to less than one a day. My goal is completely quit. I’d like to think I’m well on my way.

Good luck and let me know how you’re doing!

So I normally don’t take my grievances to the world wide web but I’m going to make an exception just this once due to my very unusual experience at Cabana Friday night . Ok, so maybe I lie and I’m all about the public venting especially when I used to habituate livejournal, but that’s all buried in the past along with many, many other things that will not be discussed at this time. Plus I don’t even think this is an appropriate channel for the rant but frankly, I don’t care. So, let’s move on!

First

• Johnny. John. Remember when we were walking through Albertsons, and I was like, “I’m really glad you’re my friend”? Well, I totally take it back. My super cool clubbing buddy that I’ve developed an effortless rapport over the years is now apt to ditching me for some more exciting, high stakes action. Sigh. What’s worse is, you can’t really fault a guy for going for it. It just wouldn’t have been half as bad if we predetermined a rally point, or if there were more familiar faces in the crowd. And there is nothing more terrifying than the prospect of losing your ride. But for the sake of our friendship, I’m not even going to mention you kicking me out at 3am or reneging on BCD tofu. Instead, I’ll just move on to:

• Johnny’s new “friend”: Although I do apologize for angrily storming up to the table once I caught sight of the makeout session, causing you to jump up off Johnny’s lap and scurry away like a frightened squirrel,  I do have to ask… where are your friends?? Going home with some strange man with no independent form of transportation or protection is questionable at best.  You could’ve been chopped into tiny bits and crammed in a storage trunk by now, but only by happy chance did you not meet a serial killer. These things really do happen you know, it never hurts to err on the side of precaution.

Admittedly though, being abandoned for a good portion of the night does have it’s silver lining: it opens your social agenda for the evening and allows for encounters with interesting characters that otherwise would have been impossible had I been tethered to someone I now know to be a bad friend. (Don’t worry, Johnny. All will be square once you buy me tofu.For the rest of your life.)

• Linda: the single handedly most beautiful girl the club with a waifish frame and classically pretty face. This girl is so pretty, if I was into girls, I would totally hit on her. Well, actually probably not, she’s not really my type. I’m more drawn to the Shane Mccutcheon look; tall, androgynous. Plus, I don’t think Asian girls really do it for me. I then got side tracked with :

• Daniel: the boyishly cute white guy that didn’t look like a douche-bag, but seemed really out of his element with the crowd at Cabana. The guy who really means it when he says he’ll be right back, but sheesh, how the heck was I supposed to know that? Since I’ve discovered that I’m a conversationalist narcissist all about me, me, me, when I see someone slowly backing away in hopes of obtaining an escape route, I gracefully let them go. Hey, I may be a self-involved monster but at least I can take a hint. Plus, when I say I’m going to “be right back”, it normally means, “Thanks for the drink, bud, but there are greener pastures to …well, pasture.” (*see footnote).

• The Pixnation Photog: Sorry dude, I forgot your name but I gotta hand it to ya… it’s a rough gig. People are RUDE. I never noticed that are so many unpleasant, unsmiling girls at the club. In my experience, when I’ve been drinking, I’m happy. I smile at everyone like a drunken fool, and I assumed more people shared this trait. I guess I’m wrong. I mean, personally, the reason I always decline taking a photo is because I hate confronting the end result blasted across a webpage for pubic viewing. It literally makes myself cringe with despair when I realize that’s what I really look like. It’s nothing personal, Pixnation Photog, but best of luck in your medical endeavors and hopefully I didn’t leave any irrevocable damage on your equipment. And by equipment, I mean his camera. You guys have dirty minds.

And finally:

• Justin: it’s nice to be able to exchange more than three words with you every 6 months or so, even if it is in passing. I remember back in the day when I was too terrified to even say hello, but I’m happy to report that I’m not in the least bit intimidated by you anymore! Now that’s what I call progress. Great party, as always and keep up the good work

Wow, what a night.**

Note to self: spell check before upload.

–

Footnote:

* This is actually untrue. I don’t like it when people buy me drinks, it’s a waste of their hard earned money. Plus, I don’t really pasture but it does seem like fun.

**TL; DR