So to understand why this is like the most delicious mountain of whipped cream, caramel, hot fudge epic sundae I will ever attempt to defeat (read : new relationship with Clyde), you have to understand something about me.

I’m a Scorpio. Actually, my moon and my sun signs are both Scorpio. That’s right. It’s so nice, I had to have it twice.

The following excerpts are from this site.

Scorpios are fiercely independent. They are able to accomplish anything they put their mind to and they won’t give up. They are perfectly suited to being on their own. They are not social butterflies like some other zodiac signs and some actually prefer to live on their own. That way there is never any issue of who controls what at home, they like to be in control.

I’m a control freak. I like things done MY WAY because that’s the way I like it. I dislike anything I can’t dominate or control to my specifications. This is why I hate rollercoasters. I simply cannot understand for the life of me why anyone in their right or left mind would willingly strap themselves down into what I see as a DeathMobile and let it hurtle them at speeds humans were not meant to be flung laughing/screaming/throwing up all the way…and then want to do it again. I think they’re crazy.

Yes. That’s right. I dislike rollercoasters because I can’t control it. So what? Bite me.

But here’s what I’ve had to learn. I’ve had to learn this thing called “compromise” and “let someone else figure it out”. It’s so weird not having to plot and plan everything. It’s actually really nice. I mention something to Clyde (“Honey, I’d really like to go see Kollaboration 10! I think it’d be fun!!”) and then forget all about it because I’m happily babbling about something else. Next thing I know, he’s telling me he got us VIP tickets.

I wake up hungry and say “Baby, can we go get breakfast?” and then SHAZAAAM!!! He finds for me my newest favorite breakfast cafe.

Wow.

As for the whole “not being a social butterfly” thing? Yup. When my friends and I are out, I’m the one sitting by the bar sipping my scotch and amusing myself by people watching. Why? Because I simply don’t want to talk to you. It’s not that I’m antisocial (well….I’m not anymore. I’ve actually gotten a lot better). It’s more like I’m out to enjoy time with my friends, not make new ones. There’s a time and place for everything.

Scorpio is the astrology sign of extremes and intensity. Scorpios are very deep, intense people, there is always more then meets the eye.

I’m a freaking Transformer, baybee.

Scorpio’s are very weary of the games that other people try to play and they are very aware of it.

I don’t get stupid games. I don’t know the rules and I’m not interested in learning them. Speak your mind or get out. Go hard or go home. “Do or do not. There is no try.”

God, I love Yoda for that line.

Scorpios tend to dominate and control anyone that lets them, or anyone that they find weak. The person that a Scorpio respects and holds close to them is treated with amazing kindness, loyalty and generosity.

In other words, the meek need not apply. I will ride you into the ground all the while screaming “GIDDYUP, HORSEY!!!” but take comfort in the fact that I do this out of love and I’d only be doing that to you.

On the outside, a Scorpio has great secretiveness and mystery. This magnetically draws people to them. They are known to be controlling and too ambitious but only because they need control for this makes them feel safe.

…yeah, working on this. This is exactly what I’m talking about! I hate feeling vulnerable. That is some scary stuff, man! It freaks me out knowing that I have given someone access to possibly hurt me….and I happily did it!

This Level One freakout brings out some not-so-happy sides of me.