What the hell….how is it possible that the sun’s about to set on the last day of 2009?! Didn’t the year just begin?! I was just partying it up at Hobbes’s house with Calvin, Mr.Hobbes, Mwuajeee and Osturtle. Where did all the time go?

Now that I think about it, where did the first decade of the new century go? Hm…let me see if I can remember…

I decided to get my ass out of Hawaii. Thanks to a lot of hustle, blood, sweat, tears and enough tequila to drown Mexico, I made it out alive and without anything on my record for which I am immensely grateful. I brought MooMoo (my then boyfriend, currently enjoys ExBoyfriend status) with me.

Got a taste of what married life feels like. He went to work, I went to school. I made dinner every night, he ate it. I did the laundry, cleaned the house and cracked out on Diablo II when he was at work and I didn’t have class. That was not the life for me at 21 years of age.

Got back into the bar/club scene and started slinging drinks as a bartender. That’s where I first met Justin and Scott of GoProductions. Justin looks exactly the same now as he did back then. Depending on how drunk I was, I would bestow upon him free pitchers of his favorite concoction. It was awesome.

I have no idea how I survived those years behind the bar. Holy good God….

Dated one of the craziest guys I know. Despite his best efforts, people still knew who I was and would come looking for me to get to him. Those were some crazy years…

Entered and competed in a bikini contest.

Dot.com boom became dot.com bust so I opted out of computer programming to go into nursing. I loved programming though….it reminded me of putting together puzzles and I love that shit. I have no idea why….I just do. How weird.

Going into nursing meant coming out of retirement. Those days and nights were some of the most surreal. Sometimes, I wonder if it was all just a really beautiful nightmare.

Dated the craziest person I know. Almost eloped but thanks to my mutant, extreme variant of the word “stubborn” and an insane sense of self preservation, I held my ground and refused. I think that’s probably what saved me in the end. I have to thank him for teaching me some of the most painful lessons I’ve ever had to learn…but learn I did and I’ll never forget. My memory for these things are not to be reckoned with.

I went back into retirement and wrangled with this thing known as eBay. Took a contact he gave me and sold power commanders for most super street bikes. The best selling ones were for the Gixxers and Yamahas. I didn’t move much volume for the Hondas. Once we broke up, I stopped with the motorcycle stuff.

Popped and maintained a wheelie on the 50cc mini bikes. That was crazy. I was freaking out in my head and then I had to lay it down. Oops.

Became a nurse. Never thought I would ever be one but I am. Life is indeed strange.

I learned how to ski. Kind of.

I learned how to surf. Sort of.

I entered the Dirty Thirties. All I have to say is “Holy fucking cow, why did no one tell me it was going to be this much fun?!”. Wtf…why were people holding out on me?!

A lot of people told me over the years I should write. My standard response was “I do. I’ve been blogging since ‘99″. They had to explain that I should take it more seriously and less as a hobby.

I then started writing for AArising which is a site for Asian Americans.

YouBentMyWookie followed shortly after. Because of YBMW, I got to go to my first ever Comic Con (what? ), interviewed Tim Burton (dressing up as a Japanese schoolgirl is KEY if you want to stick out in a room full of professional people and get the attention of his handler so that you can ask your questions), interviewed the cast of Fringe and Big Bang Theory. Also in the media room for Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku when they were discussing the now cancelled “Doll House” tv series. I really really liked that show too.. So sad.

My movie reviews ended up on IMDb. Holy fucking shit….my opinions of movies are featured on the same page as Roger and Ebert, the LA times, the NY times, Rotten Tomatoes and blah blah blah. Now THAT is a trip. I was so excited, I almost threw up. Sexy, I know.

Got published in Audrey magazine for their June/July 2009 issue. I almost threw up when I found out from Nakachan that they’re going to use my piece. I almost fainted when I saw my photo and my words staring up at me from that magazine.

Was approached by the man behind Musings on life and love to write there too. I like the whole “Love isn’t a battlefied” concept and agreed.

And now I’m also blogging forGoProductions. How crazy is that….I’m looking forward to seeing how this collaboration goes.

Speaking of GoProductions, I wanted to attend the crazy party known as IL Palazzo. That sounds like an insane party…but I decided to take my mom, my last remaining grandparent, my little brother and little sister out instead.

This NYE is an interesting one because tonight features a Blue Moon and some kind of eclipse (I think). I can’t think of a more befitting way to start off a new decade than spending it with my family (dude, I can’t remember the last time I spent New Year’s Eve with my mom. I think I was in grade school or something) during a blue moon event.

So that’s basically what the first decade of the new century has been like for me. If I had to sum it up in one phrase, I’m going to have to say “trial by fire”. Hands down.

I came out of this much stronger and you know what? If someone gave me the keys to that crazy DeLorean from Back To The Future and told me I could change anything in my life, I’d give the keys back because I don’t want to change anything.

….okay, so I totally lied. I wouldn’t give the keys back. I’d take that bad boy out for the craziest ride of my life!! That’s what I would do! Screw just passively handing back the keys, man….

Oh yeah. I also discovered that I have an imaginary tapeworm that I call Barney The Tapeworm.

2010, I hope you’re ready for me because here I come and I’m not pulling any punches.

I love this song. I love this video. * dreamy sigh * I want this.

You’re gonna have to read this if you want to understand the rest of this story.

Go on. I’ll wait.

So I was pretty scared and pretty nervous the rest of that day. I didn’t know what to think because I didn’t know what love was outside the realm of my family and pets. I didn’t know how to handle this boy who was telling me he loves me, thinks I’m his shining star and who is risking getting in HUGE TROUBLE by stealing school supplies to make me jewelry.

Talk about gangster.

In case you forgot, we were in 3rd grade. We haven’t even hit puberty yet but THIS GUY was apparently light years ahead of everyone else, myself included. Either that, or he just really loved me.

So there I was waiting and wondering when he was supposed to come to me. I can’t remember what time it was but I remember my classmate coming up to me.

“Uh….hey….Bonnie?”
“Oh, hey…look, I can’t really talk right now. I’m supposed to be waiting for someone…”

I remember he was scuffing his feet and he was looking at the ground.

“Uh….yeah….I know.”
“What? How do you know that I’m….waiting…for…”
“Um….well…..because it’s me….here, I made this for you too.”

I felt my mouth drop open and I looked down at what as glinting in his opened hands.

It was the matching bracelet to the necklace he’d made for me out of staples.

This guy had mad crazy game…and what’s so funny is that he wasn’t even trying. He was just naturally sweet and eons beyond where I was.

I’m sad to say that my sense of romance back then is nowhere near where it is now. In fact, it was nonexistent back then. I didn’t know what to do so I did the only thing I knew to do. I told on him.

* SIGH *

He got so busted. I don’t think I ever talked to him again for the rest of the year. His friends would come up to me and tell me that I was so mean to him, how could I break his heart, blah blah blah…but, seriously, what the hell was I supposed to do?!

I got transferred to some crazy elite all girl prep school the year after so we lost touch. When I came back to that school a year after that, things were different. We started carpooling and became friends. He tried to teach my brother how to say “I Love Mama” and never lost patience with him when all my then 2 year old brother could say was “I Mama!!!”

He thought it was the funniest thing he ever saw. He loved my brother. My brother adored him. In fact, my brother still asks me about him to this day.

As you can see, I’ve never forgotten him. He apparently never forgot me either because a few years ago, I got a message on Friendster (yeah, remember that?) from him. I wasn’t sure if it was really him because instead of a picture, it had a photo of what looked like Yoda getting stoned. Ugh. Gross.

Anyway, the message said something like :

Hey, Bonnie. I don’t know if you remember me but I’m LoverBoy. I used to have a crush on
you in 3rd grade, actually i made you a braclet made of staples, but you just slapped me and told
on me….thanks alot… no really, long time no talk.

Seriously, how am I supposed to forget him? He was the first person who ever loved me enough to do all that for me AND we were only in grade school. Talk about pure and innocent puppy love…or maybe it wasn’t puppy love. Maybe it was simply love in its purest form.

Come to think of it, he’s probably the reason why I am the way I am today. That’s another story for another day.

I can’t remember if I messaged him back. I’m pretty sure I did…but I can’t find that message. I hoped I told him of course I remembered him because I never forgot him, how sorry I was for telling on him and now that I’m old enough to appreciate such things, I thought he was so sweet…and that I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate it back then…and for getting him busted.

We’ve since lost touch. I have no idea where he is. I’ve heard about what he was up to but that was years and years ago.

People always ask me why the greater majority of the guys I date are Korean. All I can do is point them to this story and say “I can’t help it. The force has always been strong with me” because I don’t know what else to say. Haa haa haa.

Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t told on him. I can picture us coloring together and sharing our favorite markers. Would that have been strong enough to carry us through high school? College? Would we be married by now? Our moms were already friends so I don’t think Mrs. Min would’ve been a crazy mother in law…but my imagination is running away with me because the answer to all these questions is simply “Who knows?”

I’m just happy I have this sparkling memory to hold.

Omg…does nobody remember these from back in the day?
What’s sad is that I used to look like that (minus the Pochacco thing).
From what I understand, the boy in this post probably looked like this cartoon boy. ^^

I don’t know why I started thinking about him again but I’ve noticed a trend. Every time I see a Korean lady old enough to be my mom, I remember Mrs. Min and then I start to think about him…but memories of him don’t really hit me unless I’m able to catch a hint of coffee from the lady walking past me. Only then do the memories come out in full force to play.

I remember Mrs. Min so well because she used to carpool with us and she’d always pick us up in the morning before going to play golf. This explains why I associate her with the smell of coffee. Once I start thinking of her, thoughts of her son immediately always follow.

We met when I was in the 3rd grade. I’m not sure what it was about me that he loved so much but he made his feelings very clear unlike the rest of the boys who would steal my crayons and markers just so that they could give it back to me.

I would always find little presents in my desk and I’d have no idea who they were from. The first one was a bookmark with a little sheep on it because he knew how much I loved to read (still love reading). The bookmark read “Jesus loves you and so do I!”

The only words I saw on that were “loves you and so do I” and I promptly freaked out.

I was scared because what the hell did I know of love? I thought boys were gross and smelly when I was in 3rd grade. In my eyes, they only existed to provide me with worthy opponents on the kickball field (I totally kicked their asses. They used to call me Steroid Lady. I was like Chun Li with my long ass legs). I didn’t know what to make of this “love” my secret admirer was professing to me via a sheep bookmark so I just put it away.

The next thing I found was a sunny yellow star shaped eraser. I think there was a note that said “For you because you’re a shining star!”

I was getting kind of creeped out because I had no idea who this person was but he obviously knows me and where my desk was!! What the hell?! Who was this mysterious person?! I contemplated throwing away the eraser or giving it to my sister but it smelled nice (I remember it had a pleasantly sweet lemon scent) so I kept it in its own compartment in my favorite Sanrio deluxe pencil case. I remember I would take it out to admire it every now and then. I actually kept that eraser and one other gift from him for years and years. I only lost them when I moved to Hawaii. I remember I was really sad when I couldn’t find them.

I kept receiving a steady stream of little love notes (“I think you look really pretty today”, “You’re really good at kickball”) until one day he left me one that said “I’ll be telling you today who I am” or something to that extent. With that note, he had left me a necklace made of staples that he had made himself. Yup. My first ever piece of jewelry given to me by the opposite sex was a long chain he made himself when he stole the stapler off our teacher’s desk to assemble my gift.

Looking back, that’s L-O-V-E right there. He was risking getting in huuuuge trouble so that he could give me something pretty. For a 3rd grader, that’s pretty ballsy, impressive and I wish I had appreciated it more. Maybe this story would’ve ended better…. x)

Remember how Ah-Nold foretold the future when he robotically stated “I’ll be back” in both Terminator 1 and 2? Not bad for a fresh-from-the-future robot predicting the success of James Cameron. Or how about that other film when Jack triumphantly screams into the wind “I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!!’ while aboard the ultimately Epic Fail of all cruise liners? While the Titanic sank (the ship, not the movie), James Cameron went the complete opposite direction because, if Avatar’s any inclination of what this man’s capable of, the world is simply not enough.

I didn’t quite know what to make of this movie when I was covering 2009’s San Diego Comic Con. I liked the gigantic Mecha-looking suit (I now know they’re called AMP suits – Amplified Mobility Platform suit) but I wasn’t quite sure how that fit in with the gorgeous diorama depicting what looked like a forest with strange looking creatures. I basically went into this movie blind because the only thing I knew was “there’s a giant Mecha suit that somebody’s gonna have to operate” and “there’s a planet with blue human looking creatures and dinosaurs!!”

I walked into the movies with my family rocking our 3D glasses and proceeded to have my mind blown.

In addition to YouBentMyWookie, Go Productions and my own blog, I’m also the newest contributing writer for another site.

This site is actually pretty nice because there’s a bunch of us who talk about relationship stuff. What really got me interested was their tagline. “Love isn’t a battlefield”.

So it’s Christmas day and my first piece is online. I’m talking about * sort of * sex. That’s fantastic.

My little brother took my sister, my mom and I to the movies tonight. That, in and of itself, made me so happy.

I’m also happy because we got to see this movie in IMAX 3D!! I’ve never seen a movie in 3D before! I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen one in IMAX…but whatever, this combo friggin blew my mind. I think Avatar just ruined any other IMAX 3D movies out there for me. James Cameron popped that cherry and…man, was it good…

Quick and dirty thoughts about the movie :

- HOLY F*CKING SH!T, YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!!

- yes, the story line is very familiar but dude, it works.

- it’s a loooong ass movie so either empty your bladder beforehand or get yourself Foley’d. Just kidding. Don’t do that. Just go pee before you settle in your seat.

- if my eyeballs could have an orgasm, they just did. The visuals are seriously that stunning, gorgeous, lush and every other sensual adjective in the pages of Webster.

- actually, this movie has a something in common with Twilight. Yes, you heard me. As in, Edward Cullen, Bella and all the other uber hot undead/shapeshifters.

- this movie also reminds me of my first ever RPG (and to date, my FAVORITE RPG), Chrono Trigger.

Are you seeing a pattern with my affinity with all things first? Well….that doesn’t hold true for everything but definitely my first RPG and first IMAX 3D movie.

Full review will be up shortly. I have to go to work tomorrow and I can’t spend all night raving about this absolute mind blowing movie.

It’s been two years in the life of the Fabulous 4 from the last time we saw them on the big screen. “What have they been up to”, you ask?

Why don’t you see for yourself?

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I’m a huge SATC freak. I loved the series when it was on HBO but I wasn’t as into the movie as I thought I would be. Granted, I really REALLY liked it but I didn’t OMFG-SUPER-HEART it like I did the series. Maybe it was because I felt like they focused more on the relationship between Carrie and her assistant? Since when was the show EVER about any assistants…that is, unless you’re counting the stream of men who slipped their way between the sheets of the foursome.

I’m not really understanding a lot about what’s going on in this latest attempt to herd cosmo guzzling females into the movies. All this preview’s really showing me is the following :

- gold aviator glasses will most likely in style. Not sure if I’m gonna rock those…

- if turbans become fashionable, this will reaffirm why I never follow huge fashion trends.

- something happened in their lives that made them decide to go for a highly atypical Girl’s Night Out. Except it’s not just for one night because they’re somewhere in the middle of the desert…in party clothes…and heels…wtf. Okay, okay…so that clip doesn’t show the footwear but COME ON. It’s Carrie and the girls. Then again, since when did any of these four girls do ANYTHING that remotely resembles the term “typical”?

Maybe this is why they’re the Fab Four and why we love them.

I don’t know though…as much as I love those girls (AND MR. BIG!!! Omg….Mr. Big all the way!! Aiden, who?), I’m undecided about this movie as of right now.

I crack jokes left and right. I take almost nothing seriously (unless I have to. I’m pretty good at figuring out when it’s appropriate to laugh like a hyena or when it’s okay to disengage the safety hatch between my brain and mouth) but this is probably one of the very few posts where I’ll be serious.

My family, while we don’t have much, consider ourselves richer beyond reckoning because we have each other. We come through for each other and while we might not always agree or like each other at a particular moment, there is no doubt in any of our heads where our support system is.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have what I have. In addition to my family, I have my health, I have a wonderful career as a nurse, people actually want to read what I write, I GET to write for various sites/blogs and I have my whole life in front of me for my mom to parade a string of men she wants to see me married off to. I swear I’m like her hobby or something.

One of the greatest lessons my dad taught me was to give of yourself.

“Bonnie, give money to those less fortunate than you if you have the money to spare. If you don’t have the money to give, then give of your time because you have 24 hours of it just like everyone else.”

My brother took that lesson to heart. He’s only 20 years old and while I think he’s a big goober, he has a heart of gold. He singlehandedly organized a car show (he’s VERY into cars. I’m so proud of him) with the goal of it being a toy drive for children. He didn’t make it mandatory that everyone had to bring a gift because he wanted them to do it of their own free will and from the heart.

My beloved little man even had a big box to collect the gifts with.

I’m sad to say that no one brought anything besides their cars. My little brother was so disappointed. I saw it in his eyes when he came home and I was sad for him. At the same time, I was so proud of him. He doesn’t have a lot and yet he’s man enough to think of others less fortunate.

My little brother is like my son. I raised him by myself when I was 17 till I was almost 21. He also started living with me for the last couple of years. 3? 4? I can’t even remember. He’s basically the barnacle of my existence but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m proud of him even when he makes me so mad I swear I’m about to tear the house down.

If he had let me come to his show, I would’ve shown up with a bunch of toys but that little bastard didn’t tell me where it was! * sigh *

I’m not going to ask you guys to go and donate money or spend money on gifts for toy drives. What you do with your own hard earned money is none of my business but if I could just ask you for a favor instead.

I’m not sure where you’re reading this entry from. You might’ve been redirected from an old blog, from my friends’ pages on that old community, from Twitter, from Facebook, from the GoProductions.com website/blog page or from…I dunno where else.

Please do this one thing for me. If you’re not on missbonnified.com, please click that link. If you look on the right side bar, you’ll see something called Social Vibe.

For every click on that widget, you’re helping the charity I’m supporting for this time period. It only takes a few minutes and I haven’t gotten spammed up the ying-yang. Then again, they haven’t asked me for my email so maybe that’s why.

This time, I’m supporting IAVA (Iraq And Afghanistan Veterans of America). These brave men and women give so much of themselves for the things we enjoy everyday and take for granted. I don’t know about you but a lot of my close friends served and one very special boy (Frippy, I’m talking about you) is still serving.

Your views on the war is your own and I respect that regardless of where you stand. But, please, give just a few minutes of your time to support these brave soldiers who have given so much of themselves. I appreciate all the time you spent reading this entry…and now, if you’ll forgive me, I’d like to just ask you for a few more moments to do this for our brave soldiers.

Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart and Happy Holidays to you and yours.

With love,
Bonnie N. Clyde

Haa haa haa, this cracks me up every year. No, seriously. This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It never fails to make me laugh but I’ve no idea why it’s so funny to me.

So after exchanging Secret Santa gifts with my friends at work, I decided to write a list to Santa based off of the lyrics to this song. ^^

~*~

Dear Santa,

I’ve been really super good all year. I’ve made grown men cry like babies but I swear it was for their own damn good. You see, it’s all part of the healing process and it’s what I do at work. No, really. I had to go through special training at the hospital to do what I do and I’m only doing it so that they can get better!

So if they write to you and tell you that I was really mean and just like to cause unimaginable pain upon their poor bodies, I’d like to say that they are big fat liars and they hurt my feelings by saying such horrible and untrue things about me.

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Oh Santa, it’s been so so cold this year. As I’m writing this to you, my poor fingers and toes are so cold…I can barely feel the keys underneath my fingertips. Santa, I love animals so instead of a real fur, I’d like really love to have a bunch of super soft cashmere sweaters instead…or coats! Or shoes! Omg, shoes…

Santa baby, a ´54 convertible too, light blue
I’ll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

I’m actually really not picky, Santa. I’ll take a convertible in red, black, silver or even white. Really. You know what, Santa? I went to BMW to visit MooMoo with my best friend and I discovered I really really really like the 335 convertible. It goes vroom.

I’d really like to find that in my garage instead of the 54 convertible. Please make sure it’s STICK SHIFT only, Santa. I don’t deal with automatic cars.

Or if cars are just too bulky for you, did I mention I also love bikes? I’m not talking about the ones with the pedals. Here, I’ll even give you a picture of the one I want so that you don’t have to stress yourself out trying to figure out what it is I’m talking about.

This is the 2009 Triumph Daytona Special Edition.

This one is the 2008 Triumph Daytona Special Edition.

I’ll be so happy with either one, Santa. Whichever makes your job easier.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed
Next year I could be o’ so good
If you’d check off my Christmas list
-Bee Doo Bee Doo-

I’ve been really really SUPER DUPER EXTRA GOOD on this part, Santa. I keep my hands to myself because I know how to follow the rules I learned in kindergarten. Actually, you can also ask my coworkers, friends and family how good I’ve been. I keep telling them I’m a delicate Asian Lotus Blossom but I don’t know why always laugh at me. It hurts my feelings, Santa. Make them stop. Thank you.

Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that’s
Not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

I actually don’t know what I’d do with a yacht but if you really want to give me one, I won’t complain. I’m sure I’ll figure out a way to use your gift so that it won’t go to waste.

If you think about it, a yacht really isn’t a lot to ask for. I mean, I’m not asking you to create or even FIND me my own personal private island complete with hairless, gorgeous cabana STRAIGHT boys who have abs of steel I wanna do my unmentionable laundry on or who have the most manly shoulders that would make me summon crocodile tears just so I could have an excuse to lay my fair damsel head on them.

I just want a yacht.

A really spiffy, brand spanking new one with all the bells, whistles and trimmings.

If you just happen find such cabana boys to staff the yacht with, I’ll consider them as icing on the cake.

Santa cutie, theres one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Most girls would ask you for a diamond mine since diamonds are a girl’s best friend but I figured you might be running kind of low on those. Therefore, it’s reasonable to assume that I’ll be making your job SO MUCH EASIER if I just ask you for a platinum mine instead.

Santa baby, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your ‘X’ on the line
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

You see how little I ask, Santa? I only asked for ONE duplex…in Manhattan…and Tokyo…and Honolulu…and Los Angeles.

After all, a girl’s gotta have a place to lay her head at night (besides upon the muscley shoulder of her own personal hairless cabana boy).

As for the checks, don’t you worry. I’ll spend them in a responsible manner. Yes sir, Santa. No frivolous spending for me. I mean, what more could a girl want besides the few little things I’ve listed so far?

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany’s
I really do believe in you
Let’s see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Isn’t this the cutest little charm from Tiffany’s? My best friend got me this for my birthday. He knows me so well.

You see how much I love you, Santa? I’m leaving the most fun part of Christmas for YOU to enjoy – the trimming of the tree!

I know you don’t get to do a lot of fun things since so many people are asking you for everything under the sun so I’m making sure you get something more than just milk and cookies.

I’m not just letting you have some fun during your hectic day but it’s even a chance for you to work off all those calories from your snacks. It’s also a creative outlet for you to express yourself in the form of a most splendid Christmas tree! How wonderful!

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don’t mean on the phone
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight…

As for the ring, well….what can I say, Santa? I’m a girl and I love shiny sparkly things. I figure I have to ask for one little thing that doesn’t serve a purpose, right?

Thank you, Santa. I hope all is well for you up there on the North Pole. Please give my regards to Mrs. Claus and to all the reindeer and your elves.

Love,
Bonnie N. Clyde