It’s some random day. You’re watching Gossip Girl in oblivion and tragically coveting every awesome hair accessory on Blair Waldorf when an unexpected pang of anxiety momentarily hits.

It’s the 6th of November, this date appears to be important but you have no idea why. Are the bills paid? Automatic enrollment seems like a great idea right about now, it’s really too bad you were too lazy to ever get around to it.  Even worse, hopefully someone isn’t sitting at a restaurant this second as you neglect to remember a dinner date.

Luckily, this common occurrence is only an attack of the Phantom Personal Holiday. Somehow, insignificant dates from the past are permanently lodged in our memory forever at liberty to creep up and smack us when we’re least suspecting.

Exhibit A: Nov. 6th is the birthday of my first friend I made in college after I kicked his butt on UCSD’s CS Dust server back in 2000.  I heard him talking shit about me in the dining hall, saying how I had an aimbot but I didn’t, he just really sucked. We became buds after that. Why his bday is imprinted in my mind, I have no clue. We don’t really talk anymore (except like once a year on AIM) so this really is a useless piece of information. It’s actually pretty crazy that I remember this since I can’t even recall what I need to buy at the market once I get there.

Birthdays of former BFFs and ex boyfriends, anniversaries, the date when you were arrested back in 1996…all these now meaningless dates floating around, taking up precious brain space prevents you from remembering all the current stuff required to be a “good” friend /S.O.

It’s probably easier to just resign to be a bad friend.